Most of us parents are good at taking care of our children and proud of the way we do it. We are also constantly seeking out ideas that may help us do our jobs better. We want our kids to have the best – and that includes our best.
You know there’s no exact formula for being a great parent, but there are some basics that hold true for everyone. These truths involve relationship-building, strong leadership and sometimes just hanging on to the ship, even though it seems to be sinking into the sea. On that note, let’s “C” a few ideas that may be beneficial to your parent/child relationship.
Make a Connection with your child as the person who cares (more than anyone else) for and about him or her. Don’t focus so much on being friends, as what he or she needs most is a parent (and only you can fill that role).
As a parent, Consideration of your child’s well-being must be a factor in all of your decisions. Whether you’re choosing where to live, your career path or how to spend your time and money, his or her best interests need to be a factor. No matter the sacrifice, you’ll never regret a decision made with the good of your child in mind.
The world can seem an unpredictable, scary place with very little to count on. That’s why children need Consistency at home. This is true for younger children and even teenagers, although they’re not likely to admit it. Kids want and need boundaries and predictability from their parents in order to feel secure and to make sense out of their world.
Keep a line of Communication open with your kids, even if you don’t necessarily like what you’re hearing. They will talk to someone; who better than you? Do you remember in “Kramer vs. Kramer” when Dustin Hoffman’s character describes that being a good parent takes “listening to them [and] pretending to listen to them when you can’t even listen any more.” That’s what we’re talking about here. (Yikes, I certainly dated myself with that reference!)
It takes Courage to be a great parent and being one is not for wimps. It’s sometimes hard to make an unpopular decision, especially when your Parent of the Year nomination is on the line. Putting your child’s care over your popularity with him or her requires emotional fortitude.
You must establish and maintain a Commitment to the idea of parenting. You may not always like being a parent; and frankly, you may not always like your child. Yet, parenting is a calling and a job you accept for the rest of your life. There is no early retirement or loophole in your contract. The pay is also low, but the benefits and perks are unparalleled!
In future issues of New Heights, I’ll use this column to answer your questions and to address ways the “C’s of Parenting” can be applied to true life matters.
To submit a parenting question to me, email ParentingMatters@NewHeightsMag.com.
About the Author
Dr. Abby Hill is a parent, grandparent and licensed school psychologist. She holds a doctorate in counseling psychology and was a public school teacher before becoming a psychologist in 2002. Dr. Hill has a practice in Seminole Heights and has lived in the neighborhood with her husband since 2005.