The world can be a big, unpredictable and frightening place. This is especially true for children who are still trying to figure life out. That’s why parents need to ensure consistency is practiced in their homes. And it’s Consistency that is the third C we’re focusing on in our “Six Cs of Exceptional Parenting” column.

A home environment built on routines and predictability can help a child feel more secure. When things are consistent at home, children begin to understand the world a little better; therefore making it a little less scary.

Of course this type of consistency is not just for a kid’s sake. Think about our own need for it. We like order and most of us feel at our best and function most efficiently when things are under control at home. Having comfort that event “B” will almost certainly follow event “A,” provides us with a sense of reliability and consistency, therefore lessening our anxieties and improving our moods.

So how might good parental consistency look to a child? It should include a set of family rules and expectations regarding things like behavior, discipline, attitude and even household chores and homework.

 

Brand new parents have long touted “the schedule” as the answer for raising a calm, content infant. The same goes for older kids, as they are often less stressed and better adjusted when the family follows a routine. Maintaining consistency with times for meals, bed, study and play pays off by creating a more harmonious and efficient home setting.

In order to develop consistency in parenting, consider your ability to follow through before making plans or declarations. For example, set a bedtime for your child that you know you will be able and willing to enforce. And if you promise things, such as helping with homework, make sure you make time in your schedule to do it.

And let your child be your consistency “tutor” by asking him or her for feedback on how
you’re doing and on house rules that may conflict with each other. Find out his of her opinion on how smoothly (or not) things are running at home. But don’t stop there. Be sure to use his or her input as part of a family consistency tune-up, and make the adjustments you feel necessary to keep your family life both consistent and consistently happy. Do itfor your child. Do it for yourself. And do it because you know, Parenting Matters.

 

How To Be Consistent

 

Don’t make promises you won’t keep or threats you can’t complete.

When you lose credibility with your child you not only lessen your effectiveness as a parent, but you leave your child confused and disappointed.

 

Present a united front on behavioral expectations and consequences.

Determining household and family rules may involve a compromise between two parents who don’t see eye-to-eye on every aspect of parenting. Differences need to be worked out away from your children in order to keep the parenting “team” intact from their vantage point.

 

Link actions and outcomes.

Positive behaviors are best learned and more likely to be repeated when they are reinforced promptly and consistently. In parenting, this means responding to behavior without delay to ensure the connection between the action and the reward or discipline is very clear.

 

Be a “model.”

Probably the one most effective parenting strategy is the parent. Our kids not only observe the things we do and say, they also watch how we handle ourselves in situations and through the challenges of daily life. We, as parents, must consistently demonstrate the behaviors, attributes and attitudes we want our children to emulate.

 

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6 Cs of Exceptional Parenting

Connection • Consideration • Consistency • Communication • Courage • Commitment